Freaky lickin' LIKE :P

expecientt the unexpected really comes in your way once in a full month bloom. And it shattered every pieces of me when i realized all the way through it.
oh well, it's not something that can be shocked of, but then, there are things that meant not to happen. and, while you're looking at it, you'll catch the term 'starstruck' when it hit you.

it's kinda freaky knowing your "kuya" will like you. not as a little kid but a woman and has been liking you ages ago. but what most shocking is the fact that, once in his life he really like you- come hell and high water.

there are too many explanations why it did happen, but there would be no sufficient answer when you ask him 'why'. and that is the sole reason why there would be a positive feelings towards another person but you ought to hold it to yourself because of the NO-NO's.

when i really first heard about it, i laughed due to it's 'exaggeration' feeling that has thrown over me. but when i  heard him saying about what he really feels toward about it, man! i was left without words but to smile and act like it's okay. i guess, it was never easy to tell someone how deep your feelings it. as the way he quoted it from his text "action speaks louder than words" and he prefers it to be that way. somehow, it makes me feel nervous at the same time feel thrilled and honored. it's not everyday that someone will confess his feelings for you and how strong it has become.

Though i know what are his capabilities in life, still i know it's wrong when i let my feelings turn over me. i guess, that would be okay as for now. let God do his own magic within the pressures of our life. :))

but then again, if given the chance, i will not let it happen. it's better to stay this way. :))

Fourth year Perseverance

Nazario, Redel, Christian, Charles, Jake, Bobby, Adrian, Rodel, Aljhon, Eric, Erwin, Merjun, Jully Mae, Marity, Marichu, Nika, Kathleen, Elenita, Kenneth, Marby, Rose Mae Joy, Anna May, Lovely, Patrice, Queenie, Cindy, John, Brenda, April, Leean, Regine, Elsa, Hasmin

 

 

 

Do you miss being High School? Me? I don't miss high school. what i've missed are the people whose with me when i was still in junior school. :))

Funny when we're still 1st year, two sections competing with each other, not knowing we'd unite as one for all for one. Even though we have so many differences, we still mingle with the likes of us. All of these people treasured memories that no one can conquered. we've been lots of troubled. we lose some. we win some. but then, those are just adding some spice throughout our life. the best thing that happened was, when we caught glimpse at each other, friendship blooms.

As the years passes by, it grew much stronger. Fights are everywhere, like cat and camelion, pride are starting to rise up. Without those fights, the friendship must have been strangled. :P

 THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN

We hardly shared a glance
To greet and know each other
And now the time is up
The band is packing up

We'll find another chance
To meet again together
And fill each other's cup
I feel like breaking up

It's this time that almost
Always makes me cry
Before we say goodbye
I want to let you know I love you...

Thank you for playing my music
And thank you for singing my song
Thank you for sharing a moment
'Cause with you I feel I really belong

Thank you for keeping me company
And thank you for being my friend
And if our paths should cross somewhere someday
I'd love to sing this song again

I pray the Lord our God
Richly bless and keep you
Together let us call
And thank Him most of all

Somehow I'm feeling sad
I know I'm gonna miss you
I know I will recall
This warm and cozy hall

Still there's one more thing
Before the day is done
Before the lights are gone
Before the curtain closes, let me...

Thank you for playing my music
And thank you for singing my song
Thank you for sharing a moment
'Cause with you I feel I really belong

Thank you for keeping me company
And thank you for being my friend
And if our paths should cross someday
Then I'd really be glad, yes I'll really be glad,
I'd like to THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN

These lyrics are not available for printing.

left hanging :/

do you know that i still can't understand myself much? funny isn't it? but, it's kinda true. *sigh* i have lots of personalities that others doesn't really know. first is, they don't care for me at all, they don't even ask if i'm alright or feeling sick or getting well.
i can be a bitch, a pauper, a princess, a psycho, an actress, but most of all, i'm an idiot and a DORK. :))

 Since he left, i haven't changes at all, i become more aloof of my feelings on what i feel back then. instead of giving people some thoughts that i'm not happy, i became vibrant then. maybe, they sees me as, i'm happy that he died 'cause i'll be getting attention that i'd seek. truth is, i haven't get what i wanted. oh! i had studied in a school way too expensive for us, though scholar it is, parents are not really troubled. quoted from what my cousin say's way back. 

"it's not as expensive as what you've thought, the tuition can be credited"

 i am no seeker of  love. it's just that, when mama finds me annoying, she'll threw hurt words at me. and those words keep taunting me. and every time 'twould recalled, tears would pooled out from my eyes. i can't stop myself but be bitter. and question myself. "Am i too lowly for a child?"
I can't even answer that.

then, deep inside, i kinda managed to console myself. but really, i'm hurt.

i don't know when is the time that all pains will be healed. it's true to forgive but not forget.

like a double edge sword, it hurts :((

Since time immemorial, I've been dreading the day would come to us, like date.
And it happened. last time. it was kind of fun-for them. not me.
why?
Because it just so happens that he's with me with his girl. jeez! it hurts 'ya know?!
i couldn't help myself but posed a poker-face. what the!

anyhow, when we're strolling around the mall, and 'been listening and watching them intently, i find his girl a bit irritating. my God! She's a good ****** actress! i don't like the way her eye rolls, she pouted her lips and make-a-face, and most of all, the way she talks like a real bitch. uh-uh!
i'm bad! but, i won't become a miss]-goody-two-shoes to impress her further. I've done enough to make her feel belonged. tsssk! Oh! i forgot, i also don't like her timid-ways like she needed to be pursued in every decision she has to do. what is she?! a kid? duh!
And i'll retrieve what i'd comment on her, she's not pretty!

Ayun, pagkatapos naming mag-stroll and goof around the area. We decided to sing a few songs. Eh, OA nga siya, 'di man lang nag-exert ng effort lumabas para mamili ng kanta, talagang sinubukan pa ang prowess ko kung hihingin ko ang napili niya. hooooooooooooo!
pero dahil nga, mabait naman ako at poker-faced, i silently agreed with her antics. hindi naman po kasi bitch in front of everybody. *sigh*
nagsisisi lang ako kung bakit ginawa ko ang mga katangahang yun. *laughs*

and there, inalis ko lahat ng negative energy na naipon sa loob ng katawan ko by singing with my hearts content. fishtea lang talaga, bakit kelangang maging sweet sila sa harapan ko?
pwedeng lumayo muna kayo?! wag kayong hahara-hara sa paningin ko, baka makapatay ako ng wala sa oras. at oo, kaya 'kong indahin na kayo na, wag lang ipangalandakan at baka 'di ako makatiis! *evil laugh*

nakakatakot pala ako, ngayon ko lang din nalaman.

Nothing's Gonna Stop ME

love on chart

Love sometimes between two person, doesn't blend

Hello there my friend! It's been a hell of a week for me. *sigh*
Know what? I really am amazed to personality, know why? Because at first, I'm maybe a timid, next, i'll become a hyper, and feel like I'm not a coward. That i can be able to survive any hardships that would come in my life. But, I thought wrong. I'm a coward. Really coward. Instead of facing my problem, i'm running like a free child. i can't stand on my two feet to face those trials.

It may be a love or work problem. Why can't i just scream and tell the world that i'm not really strong? that i really need someone whom i can depend with. that i need a shoulder to lean on in times of crisis. It's hard to accept, i may have lots of friends but i don't have someone who'll come running and asks what's my problem. Oh! they would support me eventually. But that's not the point. I'm craving for someone who'll gonna listen to my antics and never get laugh. who'll pat my back and say it's okay and don't worry.

It's like love. I can't remember how this feelings turns to love. all i know is, when i'm with him, i fall apart. hard. Is that wrong? to feel other things towards your friend. and others would tease you, till you're blue, yet, you couldn't say "yes" 'cause you're afraid he'll gonna reject you.

He may laugh when someone's teasing. but i know he's pissed. aaaaa! what to do. And i think he's serious now with his recent girlfriend. every time i hear him saying her name, there's always a tinge of jealousy inside. i wanna scream right onto his face to stop what's his saying. but, how could i? he's happy. i could see it in his eyes. and reality would struct and slap me. we're not just meant to be.

he loves me, no doubt. As a friend.

i love him, no doubt. As a woman towards a man.

how lucky can i get? Should i treasure this feeling or forget i have a thing for him? I don't know what to do. it's becoming a habit of me to have a poker face when he'd start mentioning his girl friend. *grrrrr*

goodness!

Big Flat Bread

it's Friday! thank God, but i still can't rest. :(( i still have an exams left. and those exam are a bit difficult. anyhow, I'm not worried. i have God. right? i can't want anything else but him. anyway, that's not what I'm going to tell you. it's another matter.

another executive meeting, meaning, another day with him. yes, HIM! happiness are overflowing inside my chest and i felt like it's gonna burst out. I'm planning to that he'd be seated beside me because there's no left chair, but sad to say. my cousin who's head-ever-heals-in-love-with-him spotted another spot. simply put, THEM seated together makes my heart bled. really. I'm not kidding right now. though I'm laughing with some silly jokes, yet i can't focus my eyes. it's so hard to laugh and smile like it's okay. somehow, jokes are covering those feelings.
but know what? even though we're far from each other, he does makes an effort to have a chit-chat with me. and that makes my heart beats fast. i so love his smiles! *sigh*

after eating a lot of pizza, we went to have a good time somewhere around the city, albeit to say, the carnival's lights are out. so, we moved our feet inside the mall. and i really had a good time. with him. promise! we played basket shooting together. and it's fun. not fun because of shooting, but it's fun because i'm with him. and he seems to love my presence too. he treats me like we're on a date? *laughs* he wanted to play gun shooting, and i readily agreed. who wouldn't if you're with your 'someone'. you can actually like that thing because he loves it.

but, how can someone be so cruel? i know he has a recent girlfriend, and i accept the fact that we're just friends. close for that matter. and  i also know that i indulge him once in while. but, must he really said things, like he's compelled to do so, to me? i smiled, haven't i known myself better, i would have had a trophy for gaining an actress award. what to do? he's happy, so i must be happy for him too. but why do i have these feelings like can-you-ditch-her-and-be-mine? *sighs*

this is the price for being a true friend. anyway, i won't ever regret that i met him and be one of my closest friend. and i can't afford to lose the friendship just because i have a thing for him. let the moment be seize. and let fate be upon us. so God be with us. :))

if God is with us, who can be against us, right? :)))

Boy Friend

Boyfriend,

Just recently, i was being addicted by the Kpop boy-band named Boyfriend. :)) it was kinda exaggerating to say that they aren't good looking because they really are. and you know i'm addictus-pectus of handsome face's. but they're not just faces, they have real and awesome talents! I'm telling you, I'm green with envy of their super-oh h-o-t dance moves. *sighs* i can't get enough with them. XD

Hyun Song, Dong Hyun, Min Woo, Young Min, Kwang Min, Jeong Min

tada~! they're my Boyfriend, araso? :))) nang-aangkin! hahahaha ! omo! aren't them the cuteness? i super love the guy over there who wears his hair screamy yellow. :)) aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! i;m getting freaky!

Cold evening to you out there! how are you? i'm sorry for neglecting you this past few weeks or months? :)) anyhow, can i still post here you-know- chuva ekxlabur? haha!

last week or rather last Saturday evening, as one of the officers in the said youth group called Aftershocks, i was called because we had to sing a song for a presentation for Sunday morning. as we praticed our lines, it was quite eerie and smooth? and, i have one colleagues that really likes to pissed mo off. though not in a bad mood way, but in a good way. we laugh. we teased each other. ad then, in a snap of a finger, everything went cold. you know why? because someone stole the limelight. she freaked out over a small matter of thing. what the heck! it's good that she cares, for being a President, she's  doing her job to look over for her sheeps. but, ain't she overreacting? duh! and she literally preached us! my gaaaad! i felt splitting but i couldnt even lift my lips to say a word. not because i'm afraid of her but because i'm afraid of things that will gonna blurt out right into my mouth! im not condemning her for what she did, it's just that, why fuss over a nonsense fight which in fact wasn't a fight at all? and then, words are like-deserting me for the first time yet ideas and things i wanna said are popping out? instead of talking, i put all my efforts and strength not to speak out. i just nod my head like-yeah. i write and draw so that my attention can draw back. she recalls all those time that "we" pissess her off. and then, in my mind i said " hey! were not like you, you know? we tend to do our work seriously yet we also had to find some time to laugh over a crazy joke."

friends Uplifts my soul

last May 20 2011, was my birthday. it was the super fun and super lurve-it birthday that i had since i existed in this world. know why ? eh kasi, si crushie talaga ang gumising sa natutulog kong damdamin. HAHA ! :))
Kidding aside, siya talaga ang gumising saken. before that day, gabi pa lang, i know na aalis sila because hetold me so. *ang sweat dba?* XD. but, i haven't expected that he'll gonna com at our house just to bid goodbye and well, greet me too. *kinikilig uli ako* hihihihii! sabi pa ni mama, nilukso daw talag ang balkonahe namin kasi d pa open ang front door at ayaw i.open ng pmangkin ko. so, ayun, after jumping the balcon, he knocked my door room maybe atleast thrice ? i cant remember. but i remember rather too vividly how my heart react and race when i open the door of my room and face the most handsome and boy-next-door type of face that i have ever seen. oh well, poety side of me, e?  i have seen many kinds of faces, but never i react almost too violently whenever i see him. :))

later that day, my friends or church group was giving me an special service. before they start, they teases me about what had happen earlier. i just dont know how and why did they know about it. i just can't help myself but smile, smile and smile. can you blame me ? the feeling is intensified because of them, and it was an overwhelming kind of act. i get kilig.kilig.kilig and kilig. haha ! call me whatever you like, but i loved that feeling. XD
that birthday of mine was the best birthday that i had ever since ! :))

blessed

hello there ! how are you bloggy ? as for me, I've been fine.ahm no, I've been really good. XD
so sorry i wasn't able to catch up with you for some time now. I've been busy and well, paranoid again. :((
anyway, i"m here now. no need to worry about me. :))

i'm pretty well blessed for the past days. i have attended SUMMER YOUTH CAMP and it's excellent. two thumbs up for that.

is an act of judging hastily. :[

good afternoon dear bloggy ! XD. how are you ? as for me, i'm not fine. really. im not just being emotional here. it's true, please be considerate on me. for now. :))

last night, or rather, last day my mood, was, okay. i mean, i feel elated by sudden feeling. and then, in just a blink of an eye, it lasted. :(( it was because of this bastard !

[ gonna back soon ! ]

better off as FRIENDS

 

as you can see..FRIENDSHIP yan. they seem so happy. * o kaya, sa picture lang yan* whatever it is, i envy them. hays ! buti pa cla, no hassle. epic friendship ever !

ee ? panu nman ako ? tsk. 

i just tried being a good friend, rather, a sister. but, what-to-do? instead of giving me some credits, nagalit pa siya. is it wrong to give some comments where in fact, puro katotohanan nman yun. i wont give a damn to them if i havent seen something. i don't like the way i was being treated. i dont like someone who'll cry in front of me because i said something peculiar. duh ! i'm just being concerned. 

and, there's this guy who just can't stop pestering me ! over and over again. i cant understand him, really. is it right to tell someone to give him a chance to show his feelings for over a month? hello ?! may girlfriend na kaya siya ! ano ako ? bale? grrrr. pathetic loser !

another one, i told him i dont like the girl he's been courting with because of the  freaky attitude. *taasan ba nman ako ng kilay?* ano napala 'ko dun? iyak.iyak.iyak.iyak. idamay pa ba ang event na pupuntahan namin? nemen ! how i wished i could strangle their neck !

at at at, isa pa 'to ! bakit ngk.girl friend ka ?! i thought you'll be waiting for me ? ano yun ? wala lang? a promise is a promise. but i guess, it's true that promises are meant to be broken. T____T

when i found you, :))

actually, wala nman talaga sa plano ko na i.kwento eto, kasi, for me, he's already a close book. but, someone says, if you have already moved on, masasabi mo xa sa iba ng walang pg.aalinlangan. XD so here it is.

PART I.

i was 15 and him, 18. I dont really know at first what did i really saw in him that made my heart beats fast. He's what you call bad-boy, rugged looking but oozing with sex appeal, that i tell you. He's also one of those guys who loves to TAMBAY somewhere wherein they feel that they'd belonged.

We first met at the party of one of my cousin's friends. Actually, d nman ako dpat kasama dun, kasi nga d ko naman kilala yung mg.bibirthday. pero, yung kuya ko kasi, eee medjo playboy. kaya ayaw cya payagan ni tita na umalis ng di ako kasama. kaya, ayun, sabit ako.

tinatamad na ako. Haha :)) bukas na ang iba. XD

call me crazy now than call me names tommorow

first off : adiek lang po sa title. pohaha !

hi bloggy ! i missed you, you know ? it's been months since i last activated you, but no worries, im here now. don't cry. hush.

What ? my day is so lovable ? me ganun ba na araw ? HAHA :)) anyway, here it is.
i have to go to school because i have things to attend like, playing. XD. anyhooo, i am not expecting anyone, pero ika nga dba, "EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED". pagbaba ko ng jeep, i almost got trampled and hit by the passing commuters because of this inexpected *meron ba nian?* person. i thought at first, maybe 'm just hallucinating because, hello ?! kelan pa cia ngk.oras sken? eee nung dapat date namin, hndi xa sumipot dahil sa blah-blah niya. and then now, lilitaw ciya na parang wlang ngyari? duh ! he got some ergo huh?
but because i missed him terribly, wala na akong pakialam dun, *laughs*. 'kala ko d nya ako sasalubungin, kasi nga d cia gentle-dog *bwahaha* but, surprisingly, he did ! salubong me, i mean, with the gestures i haven't expected that he'll gonna do. *censored po*
at first, i thought, yun lang yun. pero i got the shock of my life when he asked me to come with him. sa mall. were just strolling around the area. plain. boring. pero, ang sweet nya inperness. hihihihiihi

PS : til' next tym.

so into you :))