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| Love sometimes between two person, doesn't blend |
Hello there my friend! It's been a hell of a week for me. *sigh* Know what? I really am amazed to personality, know why? Because at first, I'm maybe a timid, next, i'll become a hyper, and feel like I'm not a coward. That i can be able to survive any hardships that would come in my life. But, I thought wrong. I'm a coward. Really coward. Instead of facing my problem, i'm running like a free child. i can't stand on my two feet to face those trials. It may be a love or work problem. Why can't i just scream and tell the world that i'm not really strong? that i really need someone whom i can depend with. that i need a shoulder to lean on in times of crisis. It's hard to accept, i may have lots of friends but i don't have someone who'll come running and asks what's my problem. Oh! they would support me eventually. But that's not the point. I'm craving for someone who'll gonna listen to my antics and never get laugh. who'll pat my back and say it's okay and don't worry. It's like love. I can't remember how this feelings turns to love. all i know is, when i'm with him, i fall apart. hard. Is that wrong? to feel other things towards your friend. and others would tease you, till you're blue, yet, you couldn't say "yes" 'cause you're afraid he'll gonna reject you. He may laugh when someone's teasing. but i know he's pissed. aaaaa! what to do. And i think he's serious now with his recent girlfriend. every time i hear him saying her name, there's always a tinge of jealousy inside. i wanna scream right onto his face to stop what's his saying. but, how could i? he's happy. i could see it in his eyes. and reality would struct and slap me. we're not just meant to be. he loves me, no doubt. As a friend. i love him, no doubt. As a woman towards a man. how lucky can i get? Should i treasure this feeling or forget i have a thing for him? I don't know what to do. it's becoming a habit of me to have a poker face when he'd start mentioning his girl friend. *grrrrr* goodness! |
